In order to help build and boost the positive self-image of your child as they grow, consider these dos and don’ts

In order to help build and boost the positive self-image of your child as they grow, consider these dos and don’ts

1- Tell your child fifty times a day until the age of eighteen “you are very good not to say that you are a smart, beautiful, a princess or a clever child, just tell him (her) you are a very good child”.

2- Once a day tell them “I do not know” to make them learn that “not knowing something is not BAD” and once a week apologize to them to make them believe that “they are not the only ones who make mistakes”

3-Every night whatever you are doing put it down, and tell your child a story

4 -Excuse their mistakes easily!

5- exaggerate their goodness

6-Listen to their words

7 -Do not hesitate to hug them for no reason

8- Do not compare them with anybody else

9- Do tell them if you do not do this, “you will be punished”

10- watch the programmes that they like together occasionally

11– Do not tell them, “You’re grown up now, do not act like a child!”

12- If you make a mistake, feel free to apologize

13- Play with your child

14- Anytime you are on the trip, call them and say you miss them

15- Inspiring Insight: I know you can do it

16- IMPORTANT: Restore and correct your relationship with your spouse

17-When your child asks you something out loud, think before answering

18- Colourise the sounds: Calm Voice = Blue, Loud Voice = Red

19- For example, say: “This loud voice is red and I do not answer the red sounds” or say “good job!” It’s blue now and I’ll respond.”

20- Remember that your tone of voice should be relaxed so that the child learns to calm down talking to the audience

21-Do not shout under any circumstances when your child is “shouting” at you

By Dr. Farhang Holakouee

Dr. Farhang Holakouee (born 1 September 1944 in Shiraz) is an Iranian psychologist, sociologist, economist, and radio personality. His radio program—hosted in the past by 670 KIRN and currently by Radio Hamrah offers relationship advice to callers in Persian. Dr. Holakouee was born in Shiraz, Iran and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.


Dr. Holakouee has a doctorate in sociology and master’s degrees in psychology, economics, and family counseling. He taught as a professor at the University of Tehran.


Dr. Holakouee has written books and journal articles. Many of his lectures on family counseling and psychology are available on tape or online.


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